For those of you who have read my book;
“Jewels in your Crown – Mining the Treasures Within”
you may recall Chapter Seven entitled “Mentoring.” The main focus of my mentoring examples was a man named Frank. Based on his affinity for smoking a pipe, my kids fondly and respectfully referred to him as “The Pipe Man.”
When I wrote the book, Frank had been retired 17 years. Nevertheless, he was still mentoring and helping me and countless others. He ALWAYS led by example. Long before the wristband WWJD became fashionable, when faced with a challenge, I would find myself asking, “What would Frank do?” That question would provide important guidance in my decision-making as well as in my daily life.
Frank was never critical of others. And I can positively tell you I never heard anyone say anything critical of Frank. He was kindly called “Father Frank” by everyone who knew him. Not because he was Catholic, which he was, but because he was such a fatherly figure to so many.
He shared many valuable “pearls of wisdom” over the years. Here are just two.
“There is no such thing as constructive criticism. All criticism is destructive.”
I quickly learned that criticism breaks someone down and causes other things to break down as well. Instead, Frank only offered constructive, positive feedback. He would provide options to take the place of actions already taken or about to be taken.
Another favorite Pipe Man quote:
“There are no levels of integrity, you either have it or you don’t.”
This powerful quote became a lifelong credo for me.
I’ve used both those pearls hundreds of times through one-on-one conversations or in large audience presentations.
He lived the textbook definition of the “Ripple Effect.” There is no way to measure the number of people whose lives he affected in a positive way. My life was forever changed by the wisdom Frank shared and more importantly by the way he walked his talk. He was my supervisor who became my mentor and then my friend. A friend for life.
I recall a conversation with my son while writing my book. We were talking about mentoring and the conversation logically went to “The Pipe Man.” My son began telling me stories he remembered of Frank. He related how he utilized what Frank taught me in his own work and home life. I remember thinking my son was a teenager when I worked with Frank, yet he was implementing what Frank had taught me those many years before.
That conversation taught me the magnitude of Frank’s caring heart and the indelible impression he had on everyone he helped. What an enormous impact his life lessons had as they were learned and shared from one person to the next from one generation to another. To me, the essence of Frank’s time on earth are captured in a quote from Albert Paine.
“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us. What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.”
I, among hundreds of others are blessed to have been touched and taught by Frank. His eight children didn’t call him “Father Frank.” They were even more blessed to call him Dad. In this season of Christmas, it seems fitting to remember Frank was a gift given to everyone who ever had the honor and pleasure to meet him.