W. Mitchell taught me a long time ago, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do about it.” You can lament about all that is wrong with your life or you can do something about it. The choice is up to you. Simple, yet quite challenging. If you don’t know about W. Mitchell, I’d recommend reading “The Man Who Would Not Be Defeated.”
There are literally hundreds of stories around the globe of people overcoming huge obstacles in their lives. These stories inspire and encourage me. On a smaller scale we all face daily hurdles. It may be something we said, things we believe or decisions we make. Our words or actions may get twisted or misinterpreted from our initial intent.
It seems to me, society the last forty years, has evolved to address hurdles. Not necessarily in a good way.
Janis Ian spoke of hurdles she faced as a teenager when she wrote and sang:
“To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me”
That ballad was 46 years ago. It garnered her two Grammys for song and album of the year. After her teen years, Janis overcame many hurdles in her life. She has survived spousal abuse. She epitomizes the W. Mitchell quote. Janis is happily married, continues to perform, and turned 70 recently.
I don’t blame Ralph Macchio or the movie the Karate Kid. Many attribute the movie for the movement to “Participation Trophies.” That movement was supposed to increase the self-esteem of inner city youth in California. There is no hard evidence that it increased self-esteem. I contend it caused additional parental pressure on children to participate in sports they may have had no desire to play. It did however, turn the trophy manufacturing business into a two billion dollar industry.
This leads to the question, who or what has caused this shift away from tough love and personal accountability to lowering or eliminating high and low hurdles?
A) Parents
B) Siblings
C) Teachers
D) Social Media Apps and Technology
E) All of the above
I’ll select “E.” Although I contend “D” is likely the most prominent culprit. An enormous amount of people rely on cell phones and social media apps for their identity and their existence. Some hide behind their usernames. They appear to avoid what is hard by communicating only through an app. Unfortunately, their best friend seems to be their cell phone.
Janis Ian was right, people do want to belong. Belong to some thing. A club, a clique, a team, a troop or any other organization you may know. Social is vitally important to human beings. Frankly, even more important to young people. This is one reason why “Zoom Education” has been detrimental to young people. And why it is critical to get kids back in school.
Social Media has accentuated the desire for people to celebrate themselves. Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, Weibo, Twitter, just to name a few. All these platforms allow individuals to feel good about themselves.
At least until “cancel culture” rears its ugly head. It’s at that point, the mob takes over. Seems like someone always is watching and waiting for any kind of a misstep. Intentional or unintentional error is irrelevant.
I see three choices to handling cancel culture.
- Walk on eggshells
- Stay quiet and be coddled
- Stand up to the bullies.
I’ve always felt number three was the best way to handle bullies. Growing up, I was always on the smaller side. This forced me to learn how to deal with bullies. I wasn’t always successful, but I earned respect to go with a few bruises.
Dennis Prager has said, “People yearn to be taken care of.” As a matter of fact, if given a choice, they would rather be taken care of than to be free.
This is a scary commentary for our future.
Where do we go from here?
I believe the majority of people will do the right thing. I don’t buy into the ‘squeaky wheel’ syndrome. The ‘squeaky wheel’ is synonymous with social media to me. If they make enough noise we think it’s a real problem. The problem lies within listening to the squeak. Use your personal tribulum to separate the wheat from the chaff. Focus on the main thing. Build relationships with people who are different than you.
I will continue to seek and speak the truth. I will care enough about a situation or individual to confront injustice with forthright grace. I’ll honor the courage of my values and convictions. I’ll apply the “Golden Rule” daily. Personal accountability starts with me.
I have many more questions in my bucket. But Spring is around the corner and the ‘ugly duckling’ floating on the lake has become a swan. The dock is calling my name. I’ll go watch grace in action and pull some more questions out of my bucket another day.
Until next time…