We all seem to have extra time on our hands these days. Fortunately, my days are going just as quickly as they always have. The world may be careening off its axis, but I didn’t buy a ticket for that ride.

I’ve reduced my viewership of the news. Frankly, it’s nearly impossible to avoid with every social media entity blasting things out on an hourly basis. Then you need to decide who or what to believe.

Some neighbors and relatives say “You must believe the doctors and the science.” I do to a point, but it’s hard to follow them blindly when they say one thing one month and do a complete 180 the next month. Than their predictions are wildly established. When pressed on their predictions their response is “our modeling is only as good as the data we receive.” Heck, I used to say the same things about my decisions when questioned in hindsight.

Gone are the days of bi-partisan politics and unbiased reporting. All factions seem to have their own agendas. Which is really tragic when you think we are trying to prevent death.

The main stream media (MSM) act as if they are experts on everything when in essence they know very little just about everything. They parrot what others say. When they proven wrong, they never apologize or look back. They know their error will be forgotten in time.

Actually the MSM doesn’t have a corner on that market. Politicians behave the same way. They go down one rabbit hole after another. Come up with dirt on their faces, shake it off and head down another rabbit hole. They aren’t looking for carrots. Actually they are more like gophers destroying the earth and everything around it as they go from hole to hole. Many of them have no self-awareness or shame for that matter.

Ok, enough of this talk. It appears as though I’m having withdrawal from an “Editorial” post I just completed this morning.

Here are some things I know for sure.

• Things were less chaotic before social media.
• I don’t need Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or Television, but I appreciate the access provided by the internet.
• I trusted what I heard 40 years ago more than I do now.
• What am I saying, I don’t trust anything I hear nowadays.
• I’m certain the children of my children are learning more being home-schooled than when they were attending classes daily.
• I like the way people seem to be reaching out across the country to long lost friends and relatives. It’s always a treat to hear a familiar voice.
• The sun is a powerful healing star
• If you hold your breath for ten seconds and don’t cough you are healthy
• Every job is essential if it’s yours
• I don’t want to wear a mask. Mainly because I’d rather sneeze in my elbow then into my own face.
• I also don’t believe people are smiling beneath their masks and that’s sad.
• My heart goes out to everyone who has lost someone from the pandemic. My heart also goes out to everyone who has lost someone to flu, cancer, heart disease, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, respiratory failure, cerebrovascular disease, kidney disease, and suicide. There is nothing worse than losing a loved one.
• Anyone helping to combat this pandemic, be they medical providers, military personnel, grocery store employees, the neighbor who sewed you a face mask and the thousands of CDC and government employees are all angels of mercy on earth and I pray we never forget all they have done.

Until next time…

Where to begin? So much to say and so much time to say it. What feelings, emotions, or thoughts are you having? I think it would be therapeutic to share them.

• The Media is driving this COVID-19 narrative.

From the outset the slippery slope went something like this:

If we don’t shut things down the government will look like they are uncaring and deaf to the plight of the sick and ailing. If we shut everything down and “shelter-in-place” the economy will tank and it will take years to recover. Because of this media driven narrative, hysteria and panic took center stage. This led to hoarding and poor irrational decision-making. It became a chain event. All states began following the decisions of states like Washington, California and New York who were most affected.

Facts and rational thinking were bowled over by decision-makers hell-bent on protecting everyone. When in fact, only a small percentage of people were at high-risk. I’ve heard doomsday figures as high as a million Americans will die from this virus. Maybe that is accurate, but at this point we don’t know and putting out those kind of scenarios does little to nothing to help the situation. What it does is make the panic greater than the initial problem. Panic breeds panic. It always has.

• Our legislators know little about economics, medicine, or healthcare. They know even less about leadership

Rahm Emanuel’s quote “You never let a serious crisis go to waste” appears to be the mantra of many. One would think “Identity Politics” would take a back seat during this time, but it doesn’t appear to have done so. Not at all. Instead name calling, fear mongering, and political blackmail have taken the place of bi-partisan, patriotic decision making.

I’m not saying the packages and legislation is right or wrong, but restraining legislation with irrelevant regulations, or pork barrel and pet projects is not the way to address a stimulus package. The actions of members of congress is disgraceful and shameful. There is not and likely will not, be any accountability for their actions. In true political fashion finger-pointing and second guessing is the preferred method of problem solving.

Legislators and leaders at both the federal and state levels need to understand the ramifications of their decisions before those decisions are made. Making decisions based on doomsday scenarios and what another locale is doing leads to further calamity and hysteria. There has to be a balance between the health of our citizens and the economic health of our country.

• We are not focused on the “hot spots”

As I mentioned earlier, all the states have followed the lead of the states most affected. This sheep-like leadership isn’t strategic nor rational. Why would a state with less than 500 cases shut down schools, restaurants and businesses in every county of every state? Some may say “to keep the cases from going to 1000 or 2000.” I contend if we focus on the “hot spots” this wouldn’t happen.

A state with “hot spots” should focus on the those areas. Seattle in Washington, Chicago in Illinois, San Francisco and Los Angeles in California, and of course New York which accounts for about six percent of all cases thus far. Every state has major population centers. We should be focusing efforts on those areas and keeping people sequestered in and away from those areas. Social distancing appears to be working and it can work without shutting everything down everywhere.

• We are boiling the ocean

Speaking of hot spots, trying to ensure no one gets the virus is truly a “boiling the ocean” style strategy. Fifteen days will not be enough time to stop this virus. Five months may not be enough time. If we trust information coming from southeast Asia it will be anywhere from 6-12 weeks to see a downward spiral. The fact is we don’t know and guessing doesn’t help. Focus should be on those individuals who are most vulnerable to the virus. We need to look at ways to treat those people. We can’t wait on a vaccine. Possible drugs like hydroxychloroquine should be given careful consideration, despite the results, at this point, being anecdotal. Trying to test every person who has shortness of breath is not the answer. At this point the mortality rate is around one percent. Let’s focus on those one percent.

• What should I do? Or what can you do?

I am doing several things.

First, I’m keeping the faith. I choose to believe once the public realizes this is something we can overcome the panic will begin to subside. The virus, the economy, the media hype, is all something we individually have to come to grips with. We have to understand the true reality and deal with facts, not hysteria, hoarding and hyperbole. Following and trusting a higher power is not only one way, it is the only way to calmly get through these times.

Staying calm and discussing all aspects of this virus and these challenging times is another thing I am doing. I watch very little news because I don’t know who to believe. I trust the scientists and the physicians, but unfortunately, they don’t understand the economy. I’m reading what I can and decide what is based on facts.

Gracefully call out people who don’t deal with facts, but with theory.

Live life with optimism.

Help neighbors and friends with small chores.

Plant flowers or your garden.

Clean the vacuum cleaner, particularly the roller. Not a fun job, but essential.

I walk when I can and enjoy the beauty of the dogwoods and azaleas.

As frustrating and irritating as this entire situation is, I refuse to allow incompetent politicians, unscrupulous media types and fear mongers to dictate my attitude or my way of life. I will follow the rules and guidelines put in place, but I will continue to ask questions of those making the rules and guidelines. At some point this will pass and those in decision making roles will be rewarded or held accountable for those decisions.

Let’s stick together, not pointing fingers, or holding hands, but doing what’s right for the good of our neighbors and our country.

Until next time…

Throughout my life I’ve been fortunate and blessed to connect with people who lift me up. The very special ones inspire me.

I’ve been told I’m a “motivational speaker.” A very nice compliment, but frankly, I’d rather be known as an “inspirational speaker.” As I think about it, I’d rather inspire someone. Seems to me like a loftier accomplishment and a feeling that would last longer. A coach can motivate for a game, but a leader can inspire for a lifetime.

You probably know the kind of people I’m writing about. People that provide a thought provoking perspective. A perspective that is positive, causes introspective thinking and makes you want to hear more. A person who is comfortable in their own skin, leads by example, and doesn’t try to be something they are not. They are authentic which makes their words even more inspirational.

As I said, I’ve been fortunate to connect with a number of these inspirational people in my life. They’ve certainly made a positive difference for me.

Recently, through a series of circumstances, I’ve connected with someone who never ceases to amaze me. Through weekly contact I’m able to be inspired each and every time. I don’t know a great deal of historical information about this person, but I do know they were in high level leadership positions in their career. That fact doesn’t surprise me.

I also know this person has faced health challenges. But despite those challenges and likely many others I’m unaware of, this person glides through life like a beautiful swan on a lake. Underneath the water that swan may be paddling like crazy, but above the water all you observe is this graceful swan providing natural beauty everywhere it glides.

And so it is with my friend. What lies beneath, in their heart and soul is deep. What comes out of their mouth are precious pearls of wisdom. Words that can make you smile, give one chill bumps, makes you think for days afterwards, and always inspires me.

Yes, I’ve been blessed to connect with inspirational people throughout my life. Their names and faces go in and out of my mind on a regular basis. Daily, their words and actions provide memories that sustain me.

I’d strongly recommend everyone take the time to recall those people who have touched your lives. If you haven’t seen or heard from them in a while reach out and reconnect. Or if you are lucky enough to be geographically close, make sure you spend as much time as possible with them.

It will make an enormous, positive difference in your life as it has in mine.

Until next time…

For those of you who have read my book;

“Jewels in your Crown – Mining the Treasures Within”

you may recall Chapter Seven entitled “Mentoring.”  The main focus of my mentoring examples was a man named Frank.  Based on his affinity for smoking a pipe, my kids fondly and respectfully referred to him as “The Pipe Man.”

When I wrote the book, Frank had been retired 17 years. Nevertheless, he was still mentoring and helping me and countless others. He ALWAYS led by example. Long before the wristband WWJD became fashionable, when faced with a challenge, I would find myself asking, “What would Frank do?” That question would provide important guidance in my decision-making as well as in my daily life.

Frank was never critical of others.  And I can positively tell you I never heard anyone say anything critical of Frank.  He was kindly called “Father Frank” by everyone who knew him.  Not because he was Catholic, which he was, but because he was such a fatherly figure to so many.

He shared many valuable “pearls of wisdom” over the years. Here are just two.

“There is no such thing as constructive criticism.  All criticism is destructive.”

I quickly learned that criticism breaks someone down and causes other things to break down as well. Instead, Frank only offered constructive, positive feedback.  He would provide options to take the place of actions already taken or about to be taken.

Another favorite Pipe Man quote:

     “There are no levels of integrity, you either have it or you don’t.”

This powerful quote became a lifelong credo for me.

I’ve used both those pearls hundreds of times through one-on-one conversations or in large audience presentations.

He lived the textbook definition of the “Ripple Effect.” There is no way to measure the number of people whose lives he affected in a positive way.  My life was forever changed by the wisdom Frank shared and more importantly by the way he walked his talk.  He was my supervisor who became my mentor and then my friend.  A friend for life.

I recall a conversation with my son while writing my book.  We were talking about mentoring and the conversation logically went to “The Pipe Man.” My son began telling me stories he remembered of Frank. He related how he utilized what Frank taught me in his own work and home life. I remember thinking my son was a teenager when I worked with Frank, yet he was implementing what Frank had taught me those many years before.

 That conversation taught me the magnitude of Frank’s caring heart and the indelible impression he had on everyone he helped. What an enormous impact his life lessons had as they were learned and shared from one person to the next from one generation to another. To me, the essence of Frank’s time on earth are captured in a quote from Albert Paine.

“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us.  What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.”

I, among hundreds of others are blessed to have been touched and taught by Frank.  His eight children didn’t call him “Father Frank.” They were even more blessed to call him Dad.  In this season of Christmas, it seems fitting to remember Frank was a gift given to everyone who ever had the honor and pleasure to meet him.

A few years back I blogged on my website about nonagenarians.  I focused particularly on my co-worker who had just turned 90.  He’s now 94 and still working seven days out of every two weeks.  Quite amazing.

A great deal can happen in four years.  Sadly, at my age many happenings deal with sickness and dying. In the last four years I’ve had dear friends lose parents, spouses and children way before their time, just as my brother – who lost his wife.  A week rarely goes by without a mortality reminder hitting the local obituary columns.

I’ve been blessed.  Both my folks are still alive and independent. We recently celebrated my dad turning 90.  Despite his neuropathy, his health is above average for someone moving into their eleventh decade on earth.  My mom deserves a great deal of credit for their good health.  For nearly 72 years she has provided three meals a day.  Meals that would make Aunt Bea envious.  The table is always properly set with placemats, silverware and napkins.  Doesn’t matter if it is breakfast, lunch or dinner.  She even makes paper plate meals look special.  The pantry and refrigerator are always stocked and if you stop by there is always plenty for everyone.

My dad has provided many memories as you would imagine, for someone who has done and seen as much as he has.   I can’t say he changed the world, but as a man in the grocery business for 50 years he was an integral part of the health and well-being of his customers. I suspect he was good at his job, because each time a new grocery store would open in the Midwest we would move to the town where the new store was located.   I went to five different grade schools.  I used to joke that we moved whenever the rent was due.  My mom didn’t think that was funny.

Once he went into the consulting business life settled down. Sort of.

There was the time when he was showing someone how to create a store display, fell off a ten foot ladder and broke his ankle in two places.  He still has the screws to prove it.  Then there was the time he was heading back from a store in a rural area and a fully loaded logging truck with no brake lights stopped without warning and my dad came home with a wrecked Plymouth and a broken collarbone.  He seemed to handle major things with a calm demeanor as a young man.   I remember him coming home about 5:30 a.m. on Halloween morning to let us know his dad had passed in the night.  He showered and headed back to his folks house to await the coroner.  I was truly taken by his calmness.

Like many fathers raising kids in the 60’s my dad played catch, football and basketball with his kids as well as the neighbor kids.  He also taught us how to play ping-pong, pool and golf.  Three activities I continue to play for exercise.  As he got older, his game waned but he still stayed involved. On his terms of course. For example, when playing catch if he couldn’t reach the throw and it would sail or skip by him, the thrower was the one who would have to retrieve the ball.  He became  the permanent quarterback in touch football.  Basketball games changed to either free throw shooting contests or HORSE where he would stay in the same location the entire game. His hook shot was the talk of the neighborhood.

He continued to play golf till his neuropathy forced him off the fairways.  I would encourage him to putt on the putting greens and had fun watching him doing that until a few years ago.

My dad has always put family first.  Rarely did my folks go away on their own. Vacations usually included whoever still lived at the house.  As grandchildren came along they would take them to Disney World or to my mother’s favorite vacation spot – Busch Stadium in St. Louis.

Dad doesn’t travel much anymore.  Frankly, I think it’s because he doesn’t want to be a burden to those who have to load him in and out of the car and take care of his walker. We tell him it’s our pleasure but he still refuses.  Little does he realize the extra five minutes it take to secure his place in the car will be sorely missed when we don’t have the opportunity to do so.

As I said, I’m blessed.  It’s rare to have your parents both around for more than 70 years.  I tease them a great deal and have used them as examples in many presentations, but I’m the lucky one. It was truly gratifying to see the number of people show up for my dad’s birthday party recently.  It made me realize that other people understand how lucky I’ve been as well.

Until next time…

In today’s political environment it’s easy to get frustrated, depressed, overwhelmed and underwhelmed by what we all see and hear. I am to the point where I don’t know what to believe. It’s more and more difficult to be inspired by our “leaders.” Yes, the word “leaders” is in quotes because it is a very suspect moniker for politicians.

Having said this, I’ve found it essential to look elsewhere to be inspired. What inspires me?

• Courageous people. People who fight diseases with a positive attitude, a faith, and a resolve that I can’t imagine.
• People in military or law enforcement uniforms. Women and men who protect us at home and abroad. Who risk their lives regularly so we can feel secure.
• Creative people. Those gifted with the ability to build, repair, paint, sing, play an instrument, write or any other talent that brings others joy.
• Everyday heroes. Those people, who when faced with an unexpected challenge, rise to the occasion and save a life. Or at the very least make a difference to the person(s) they helped.
• Selfless people. People who put their needs in the background and focus on the needs of others. A dedicated mom or dad, teachers, clergy, a mentor, are all examples that quickly come to mind.

The above list could go on, but take a moment to think of people you know that fall into one or more of these categories.

I am in contact with people under each bullet. My life is replete because of these people. They cause me to pause and reflect. I marvel at their gifts and talents. Their accomplishments and results make me smile. It’s always gratifying to connect with someone from my list, so I reach out to them as often as possible. They inspire me.

It’s so important to look for ways to inspire yourself. Stimulating conversations, a good book, a memorable song, a touching story, art, and reconnecting with a long lost friend all inspire me. They enrich my life, improve my perspective and enhance my spirits.

When your environment starts to frustrate, overwhelm or depress you, do all you can to find and relish in things that inspire you.

Until next time…

I had a week to myself recently. For seven years I’ve looked at an old warped, wretched, brick sidewalk. I sat on the front porch pondering what I would do with my free week. The wobbly sidewalk stared back at me like a dog wanting me to play fetch. I stood up from the rocker and said to myself, “today’s the day.”

So I got the proper tools and begin excavating the bricks one-by-one. The sidewalk was not level, some bricks were placed sideways, just to take up space. My first concern was where to stack 450 bricks. I did a little measuring on the driveway and plotted out how many rows and stacks I would build.

The temperature was in the 90’s so I had to work smart. I’d pick bricks for an hour and take a break to refresh myself. About halfway through, a rush of despair began to overwhelm me like a storm cloud on a sunny day. The ground below the soil was not filled with roots as I had anticipated. It was just pitted and rock hard. The roots I had hoped would explain the bumps in the bricks were really just years of erosion.

I would need lots of dirt and machinery I didn’t have to level the space. It was at that point I decided to call in the cavalry. I wrote two text messages and one email to three people whom I had worked with before on outside jobs. It buoyed my spirits to think once I had the bricks removed a professional would replace the bricks in magnificent fashion.

I finished my removal process, began raking the hard ground and waited for the text messages or emails to come my way. They never came. But later that evening rain did come. I turned on the porch light to see how the dirt path would sustain the downpour. To my pleasant surprise it held up very well.

DAY 2

The next morning, truly at the crack of dawn, I removed the old timbers bordering the bricks and headed for Burney’s Hardware for new timbers and paver stone.

The timbers slid into place and I began to replace the bricks – ten to a row in a horizontal/vertical pair pattern. After six rows the distance between the timbers narrowed slightly. After eight rows it narrowed more dramatically. My steel trap mind alerted me to something being wrong. About that same time my 82 year old neighbor dropped by. He eyeballed the timbers and asked, “You got a tape measure?”

We quickly found out the timbers needed to be reset two inches over. The magic number became 37 inches between timbers. Once the trench was dug and the timbers moved the bricks had plenty of space to take their place on the remodeled sidewalk.

The first eight feet went in fine. Mainly because the ground was level. Then the challenges began anew. Four challenges specifically.

• The next eight feet began a steady incline up toward the driveway.
• The ground sloped away from the house. Two leveling challenges.
• The bricks were old and definitely not square or uniform in any way.
• Many of the bricks had been placed with concrete and it took a sledge hammer to reduce the uneven surface the old concrete created.

These four challenges slowed the process down dramatically.

But I was at the point of no return. If this was going to get done it was up to me to do it.

DAY 3

Once again I was up at sunrise. It would be 25 degrees warmer in three hours so I knew getting up early was the way to go. Brick after brick was laid on top of the paver sand. Because they were all different each brick earned a different amount of paver sand beneath it. I had to resign myself that the sidewalk would not be totally level. The old bricks and the slope of the land didn’t allow for that.

When the last brick was placed I looked over the path with satisfaction, but not glee. Several bricks had to be raised or lowered at on point or another. They were easy to remove, add paver sand and replace. That process will continue for weeks to come I’m sure.

Throughout the process and to this day I tell myself three things.

• It looks better than it did before I began
• I did something I didn’t think I could do
• I persevered despite my lack of skills, experience and talent

I share this lengthy parable for these four reasons.

• You’ll never accomplish anything if you don’t start.
• You often times surprise yourself at what you can accomplish.
• If you looking to rely on somewhere else to accomplish a goal you may be disappointed.
• If you persevere you’re very likely to get a positive result

Just remember to take it one brick at a time.

Until next time…

I enjoyed another relaxing Father’s Day. Spent the morning with my dad, treasured two phone calls from my adult children, then met up with our best friends for dinner. Neither of our friends have dads still with them. Sadly, my boyhood buddy lost his dad last month and his mom three weeks later.

As a teenager, I remember fondly the memories of these two wonderful people. Their humor, their generosity, and they way they always seemed interested in me. As an adult, those same characteristics shined brightly as they always wanted to know how things were going for my children. It was always a joy to spend time with both of my buddy’s folks.

Still blessed with both my parents it is unimaginable to lose both parents in less than a month. His faith is strong and helping him cope. Last night he shared a post with me that truly captured the essence of his folks and the love they had for one another. It touched my heart and I thought it may benefit my readers if I shared a portion of it with y’all today.

” I have always had a love for music. One of my first memories I have of music in our household came from my dad.  Vividly, I remember my father coming home from work one day and he immediately started moving all the living room furniture against the outer wall creating an open space in the middle of the room. When that task was completed he would then go find my mom and ask for her hand leading her into the living room. He would put a record on our hi-fi and they would begin to dance. Ed and Jane were Fred and Ginger.  (In fact my Dad looked a little like Fred Astaire.)

My parent’s love for each other through movement on the living room carpet gave their four children the security and confidence that is needed to go on to boundaries beyond the backyard.  The big band sounds of Glenn Miller and Tommy Dorsey highlight the memories I have of late 50’s and early 60’s.  They actually wore down that carpet.  We were not a wealthy family (being a family of educators) so the carpet would have to do. Over the years, that carpet became a worn path of love and tenderness.  I guess that’s where the phrase “cuttin’ a rug” comes from. 

Along with the big bands, I remember the crooning styles of Perry Como, the Rat Pack (especially Dean Martin), and even Eddy Arnold.  How Roger Miller got in that mix I am really not sure.  My Dad was probably more of a Roger Miller than an Eddy Arnold, but both could satisfy him depending on his mood.  At times, my Dad could round up his herd for dinner with his “Cattle Call” or escape from pressures of his demanding job and hop the rails to be “King of the Road. “ How he ended up with Doris Day is still a mystery to me, but I am glad he did.

To this day I still put on some of that music, and I am taken back to that old house that used to be so big.  That living room seemed as immense as a ballroom, but in reality, it must have really cramped their movements. My parents were still dancing into their eighties.   Many times they were the last couple remaining on the dance floor. At wedding contests they were the winners chosen by how many years they have danced together in their married lives. They danced through their lives together, not as individuals, but as a couple doing life together. They showed their children how to be better parents and grandparents as well. My father passed away on May 17. Three days after he passed away my mom was admitted to a hospital. and soon after that, a hospice center.

At one point, she shared with her children that she had a vision of her husband. He was reaching out his hand and was summoning her. He could not go too long without his dance partner. My mom took his hand several days later. Their dance continues. 

Psalm 149:3-4 says  Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with timbrel and harp.  For the LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.

My parents were far from being religious people, but they prayed every day and had a relationship with Jesus Christ. They understood that he died for their sins. And because of that we know that indeed they are in heaven with their Savior. They are dancing and making music to honor him.

Praise God!”

Until next time….