A few years back I blogged on my website about nonagenarians. I focused particularly on my co-worker who had just turned 90. He’s now 94 and still working seven days out of every two weeks. Quite amazing.
A great deal can happen in four years. Sadly, at my age many happenings deal with sickness and dying. In the last four years I’ve had dear friends lose parents, spouses and children way before their time, just as my brother – who lost his wife. A week rarely goes by without a mortality reminder hitting the local obituary columns.
I’ve been blessed. Both my folks are still alive and independent. We recently celebrated my dad turning 90. Despite his neuropathy, his health is above average for someone moving into their eleventh decade on earth. My mom deserves a great deal of credit for their good health. For nearly 72 years she has provided three meals a day. Meals that would make Aunt Bea envious. The table is always properly set with placemats, silverware and napkins. Doesn’t matter if it is breakfast, lunch or dinner. She even makes paper plate meals look special. The pantry and refrigerator are always stocked and if you stop by there is always plenty for everyone.
My dad has provided many memories as you would imagine, for someone who has done and seen as much as he has. I can’t say he changed the world, but as a man in the grocery business for 50 years he was an integral part of the health and well-being of his customers. I suspect he was good at his job, because each time a new grocery store would open in the Midwest we would move to the town where the new store was located. I went to five different grade schools. I used to joke that we moved whenever the rent was due. My mom didn’t think that was funny.
Once he went into the consulting business life settled down. Sort of.
There was the time when he was showing someone how to create a store display, fell off a ten foot ladder and broke his ankle in two places. He still has the screws to prove it. Then there was the time he was heading back from a store in a rural area and a fully loaded logging truck with no brake lights stopped without warning and my dad came home with a wrecked Plymouth and a broken collarbone. He seemed to handle major things with a calm demeanor as a young man. I remember him coming home about 5:30 a.m. on Halloween morning to let us know his dad had passed in the night. He showered and headed back to his folks house to await the coroner. I was truly taken by his calmness.
Like many fathers raising kids in the 60’s my dad played catch, football and basketball with his kids as well as the neighbor kids. He also taught us how to play ping-pong, pool and golf. Three activities I continue to play for exercise. As he got older, his game waned but he still stayed involved. On his terms of course. For example, when playing catch if he couldn’t reach the throw and it would sail or skip by him, the thrower was the one who would have to retrieve the ball. He became the permanent quarterback in touch football. Basketball games changed to either free throw shooting contests or HORSE where he would stay in the same location the entire game. His hook shot was the talk of the neighborhood.
He continued to play golf till his neuropathy forced him off the fairways. I would encourage him to putt on the putting greens and had fun watching him doing that until a few years ago.
My dad has always put family first. Rarely did my folks go away on their own. Vacations usually included whoever still lived at the house. As grandchildren came along they would take them to Disney World or to my mother’s favorite vacation spot – Busch Stadium in St. Louis.
Dad doesn’t travel much anymore. Frankly, I think it’s because he doesn’t want to be a burden to those who have to load him in and out of the car and take care of his walker. We tell him it’s our pleasure but he still refuses. Little does he realize the extra five minutes it take to secure his place in the car will be sorely missed when we don’t have the opportunity to do so.
As I said, I’m blessed. It’s rare to have your parents both around for more than 70 years. I tease them a great deal and have used them as examples in many presentations, but I’m the lucky one. It was truly gratifying to see the number of people show up for my dad’s birthday party recently. It made me realize that other people understand how lucky I’ve been as well.
Until next time…