This past week, I had the good fortune of working at the U.S. Kids Teen Golf Championships. I was eager to meet the 125 golfers from around the world. Each one 13 years of age.
I’m not exaggerating when I say they came from around the world. Countries like, China, India, Peru, Germany, South Africa, Canada and of course the USA. They came from larger metropolitan areas like Singapore, Lima, Hong Kong, Mexico City, Miami, Boston and New York. And ventured from small towns like Ona, West Virginia and Holly Springs, North Carolina. Each one competing for a teen world championship. Besides every young man being 13 they had other similar characteristics. All were well-mannered, gracious, respectful, poised and positive. Everyone seemed happy to be there. They all shook hands before teeing off and shook hands on the 18th green.
Every 13 year old was impressive in their own right, but of the 125 participants I was struck by four, particularly. The first was from West Virginia. He was outgoing, friendly and possessed a fluid swing as he attacked the ball. He had a rough first day. When I checked him in on day two he acknowledged his difficult round, but assured me today was a new day and he would be better. Indeed he was better, by 12 shots. He said, it really didn’t matter how he scored. He was just happy to be there playing. His family members were the most complimentary of any group participating.
I was also impressed by a golfer from Georgia. Through a misunderstanding he showed up to his day two tee time late. His group had already teed off and were preparing to hit their approach shots to the first green. He was informed he would be allowed to play, but had to take a 10 on the first hole. Off he went to play 17 holes. Understandably shaken by the circumstances, he hit two balls out of bounds on the second hole and took a nine. He finished the day with a 95. Many kids would have packed their clubs and clothes and headed home. Not this fella. For day three he arrived 30 minutes ahead of his tee time. His eyes were steely, but his smile was charming. He finished his third round with a 79. I was able to visit with him after the round and his smile was even wider than when he had teed off. I told him I knew he would play well when I looked into his eyes and saw his determination. I told him I admired his courage to come back and prove to himself what a competitor he was. His smile grew even wider.
The third golfer was a player from Pennsylvania. When I say “player” I mean he could really play the game of golf. For three rounds he shot under par and finished fifth overall. Very impressive to say the least. But his scores are not what I will remember. What gave me a thrill was his humility and his character. You see his caddy was his mother. I had teased him after his sensational first round telling him how fortunate he was to have such an outstanding caddy. Without batting an eye he said, “She made all the difference in the world.” His mother blushed profusely and explained to me, she knew very little about golf, but wanted to be there to push the cart and not just be a spectator.” I was so impressed that this handsome kid had already learned the importance of sharing the credit and understanding that you get far more than you give. His mother was obviously far more than a cart pusher. She was a teacher of values and principles. A terrific teacher.
The fourth golfer was from South Africa. I knew this “chap” was special from our first introductions. “Good day mate!” he said putting out his hand to greet me. His smile exposed two large dimples and the gleam in his eyes were like two freshly lit candles. He didn’t look 13 – more like 10, but he carried himself like he was in his 20’s. He was charismatic and a delightful conversationalist. He was the first to extend a hand in introductions, and always wished his fellow participants well. Following a challenging first day he reported for day two with even more enthusiasm. “I didn’t play as well as I could have, but today is a beautiful day and I will play better.” His positive attitude led him to a six shot improvement and the next day he nearly matched that score. This “mate” was playing for the right reasons. To compete against the golf course and have fun. He succeeded on both counts.
Four quick stories. I could share 120 more. Every one of these 13 year old men has a story. But I was taken by these four golfers because of one more reason – their parents.
It was so obvious these four have been raised to understand what matters most in life – your values, your character, your integrity. These set of parents didn’t make excuses when their sons played below average. They didn’t gloat when they had a good round. They didn’t live vicariously through their child. All four parents were actively involved in their son’s participation. Whether they were on the bag as a caddy (as four parents were) or they were walking 18 holes and encouraging from the gallery. I have no idea what these parents do for a living, but their most important job is raising their offspring. From the examples of those three days, they have been doing a super job!
I’ve always said you can learn more about a person in a four hour round of golf then you can working with them for a year. I guess I can same the same thing about a parent/child relationship on the golf course. It was gratifying, encouraging and certainly gave me hope for the future.
Until next time…