Sixty-five years ago Thomas Wolfe’s “You can’t go home again” was published posthumously by Edward Aswell. The title of Wolfe’s book, came from a previous conversation between Wolfe and writer Ella Winter. Wolfe was lamenting about his manuscript when Winter replied; “Don’t you know you can’t go home again?” Wolfe asked for, and Winter granted permission, to use the quote as the book’s title.
That phrase has now entered the American lexicon. Used largely by anyone desperately attempting to relive youthful memories. Memories which are rarely, if ever, as fulfilling as when they were created.
Retro clothing, “New Coke,” 70’s radio, and adult summer camp are just a few examples of marketing, branding or merchandising to appeal to one’s past.
On a recent visit to Colorado, (one of my most favorite places on the planet) I too was caught up in nostalgia while driving though old neighborhoods to find our home from 20 years ago. Not to my surprise or disappointment, the old neighborhood had changed. The yard, house, cul-de-sac, and neighborhood pool seemed much smaller. It appeared everyone had moved away and the charm that attracted us had not only dissipated, but disappeared. “You can’t go home again,” I thought to myself.
I recall my parents many years ago talking about “the good ole days.” We all do that, don’t we? By the way, when were those good ole days? Mary Hopkin, a Welsh singer, made a hit song in 1968 with “Those Were the Days” but I’m not really sure what time period she was referring to either.
It seems to me, we have developed an ability to flash back to whatever time period and recall those times as easier, more care-free, less stressful. We remember the mortgage being much less, but we tend to forget the interest rate was higher or the paycheck was a great deal lower. The playground slide was longer and the jungle gym higher. The fence in center field at the little league park was not 385 feet but rather 185 feet deep.
Marvin Hamlisch may have had a good point when he wrote:
“Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line
If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me, would we, could we…”
I’m not advocating to forget the past. I’m not suggesting to cease cherishing memories of “the times of your life.” What I am recommending is we put everything in perspective. Above all else I recommend looking forward to what is happening today and tomorrow. Make your memories by relishing the moment you currently reside in today. Fill your mind with positive thoughts of the future. Dream of the possibilities that exist for you whether you are 18, 48, or 84.
Fall is just around the corner. A beautiful, but bittersweet time of year for me. I’m usually short-sightedly thinking about the long winter ahead and sadly miss the beauty that surrounds me during Autumn. This year I plan to relish the colors, allow the crisp air to rejuvenate my spirit and look forward to a winter of accomplishments and a spring of rebirth for my mind and soul.
My hope is that you do the same.
Until next time….