I recall with a smile, my good friend Mike telling me a parable about Mickey Mantle; the late Yankee Hall of Famer. Mickey would have a fantastic game, then would call back to Oklahoma, to share his excitement and desire for a pat on the back from his dad. His dad would congratulate Mickey on his hits or home runs, but then close the call by saying; “Remember Mickey, good enough is neither.” And the next day Mickey would play harder knowing good was not enough for his dad. We all can’t be Mickey Mantle. I learned that a long time ago.
I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking about mediocrity and being good enough lately. I regular self-assess and ask if I’m stretching myself to be better or just settling for mediocrity. Maybe mediocre is too strong. Maybe average is a better word. Most people think they are better than average. I’ve never sat down with anyone in a merit review session and had them tell me they were average. Usually they’re surprised if they aren’t considered the best, hardest working, employee on the team. Helping them understand how they can improve is both a challenge and a joy.
I’ve always tried to surround myself with people who strive for greatness. People who are charismatic, witty, clever, hard-working and fun to be around. Most of all, though, I want to be around someone I can trust. It’s so fulfilling when you can share with someone, believe in someone and know their word is bond.
As the years have gone by, I’ve run into people and worked with others, who wanted you to believe they were something they really were not. Frankly, I think the internet has brought on that mentality. You can hide behind your words…for a while. Unless, of course, you’re on LinkedIn, Facebook or some other revealing social media vehicle. But even those afford you the opportunity to somewhat pretend. This feeling of wanting to be something more than you actually are can and does cause challenges, issues, and problems for many people. People in all walks of life. Whether you’re working at a bank, a bakery, a deck hand on a ship or a network news anchor, you can fall into this trap. You want to impress, feel better about yourself, or be the center of attention…if only for a short while. The story you spin, the tale you tell, it’s all fine till someone finds out the facts don’t add up.
It’s at that point the “Theory of Holes” should be implemented. The person who started the tale must stop digging. It only makes it worse. As my grandma always told me; “Never lie. When you tell the truth you never have to remember what you said.”
Once you catch a person telling an untruth it’s easy to get them to tell another and another to cover the first untruth. Pretty soon that vortex takes over and they spiral deeper and deeper until they have to admit the first falsehood. Just ask Pete Rose.
Brian Williams had been the face of NBC. He is charismatic, witty, clever, hard-working and from what others at NBC have said, fun to be around. He is also a fabulous story teller. If you’ve ever heard him speak, you probably agree. His problem was he wanted to be more than the face of NBC. I’m not sure what he wanted, but he wanted more than that. When the facts behind a twelve year old story came out, he had a chance to correct the facts and apologize. He failed at both of those opportunities and the “Theory of Holes” took over. Now he has lost the trust millions put into him. As you know, it takes a lifetime to build trust and only seconds to lose it. Once gone, it can be nearly impossible to earn again. A tough life lesson to learn for anyone.
As I continue to reflect on my own gifts and talents, this event has provided me a new perspective. I love to tell stories. But I will always let my audience know when I am stretching the truth. I will continue to strive to be better, but accept who I am. When I meet someone new I won’t pretend to be something or someone I’m not. Hopefully they will be curious and courageous enough to trust me. It’s always a little risky to put yourself out there, but I’ve found more times than not its well worth the risk.